You know you’ve been too long in Norway when …

… you start to believe that if it wasn’t for Norway’s efforts the world would collapse.
… you only buy your own drink at the bar even when you are with a group of people.
… you can’t remember when to say “please” and “excuse me”.
… you always prepare to catch the closing door if following closely behind somebody.
… a stranger on the street smiles at you, you assume that: he is drunk / insane / American or all of it.
… silence is fun.
… you use “Mmmm” as conversation filler.
… you actually believe there is no such thing as bad weather, only bad clothing.
… you know Norway’s results in the last three years in the “Melodi Grand Prix” song contest.
… it seems nice to spend a week in a small wooden cottage up in the mountains, with no running water and no electricity.
… you know at least five different words describing different kinds of snow.
… an outside temperature of 9°C (45°F) is mild in mid‑June.
… you know the difference between Blue and Red ski wax.
… you don’t fall over when walking on ice.
… you associate Friday afternoon with a trip to the government liquor store.
… you think nothing of paying $50 for a bottle of “cheap” spirits at Vinmonopolet (“the wine monopoly”).
… it’s acceptable to eat lunch at 11:00 and dinner at 15:00.
… it no longer seems excessive to spend $100 on drinks one night.
… you know that “religious holiday” means “let’s get pissed”.
… you find yourself more interested in the alcohol content than in the name of the wine.
… you enjoy the taste of lutefisk (jelly‑like, strong‑smelling fish).
… you like to wrap your hotdog in a cold pancake.
… you associate warm rice porridge with Saturday and Christmas Eve.
… you can prepare fish in five different ways without cooking it.
… you wear sandals with socks.
… your wardrobe no longer has suits but blue shirts and mustard‑coloured sport jackets.
… you don’t look twice at businessmen in dark suits wearing sport socks.
… it feels natural to wear sports clothes and a backpack in the cinema (as well as everywhere else).
… you find yourself speaking halfway Swedish with Swedes.
… you can’t understand why foreigners haven’t heard about Bjørn Dæhlie.